Who Should Win Google Glass? Not One Of These People

By Jordan Mammo email: , Feb 21, 2013 10:25 AM EST

It's only been one day since Google announced its Google Glass contest, but the competition is heating up on Twitter, where the hashtag #ifihadglass is gathering hundreds of tweets every few minutes.

Google officially revealed the contest on Wednesday, Feb. 20, announcing that it's accepting applications from normal citizens to become "Google Glass Explorers." Twitter and Google+ users have until Feb. 27 to submit 50 words or less explaining what they'd do if they had the chance to use the new tech.

The winners will get the chance to fork over $1,500 plus tax to get their hands on Google Glass. Seems like a steep price to pay for something still in beta, but that hasn't stopped people from flooding Twitter with ideas.

Generally speaking, most people describe how they'll use the device for studying, becoming more efficient and knowledgeable, improving their communication skills and similarly mundane but productive functions. That's great and all, but this stuff is (supposedly) revolutionary! Let's see some ingenuity, people!

Suggesting something that surely every high school and college student will do eventually is the user @keeptheheat, who said he'd, "1. Walk into class 2. Set glasses down on desk 3. Hit record 4. Go back to sleep #likeaboss."

Former Speaker of The House Newt Gingrich got in on the action, taking a break from defending Real America against the Kenyan anti-colonialist Obama to once again profess his undying love for nature and animals.

"i would take it on tours of zoos and museums to share the animals and fossils," tweeted Gingrich, indulging in a rare moment of sweet innocence.

PETA naturally talked about spreading the already ubiquitous presence of cat videos, but the most interesting thing about #ifihadglass is that as you continue down the feed, the tweets slowly but gradually descend into chaos and despair.

"#ifihadglass I would stare into the endless depths of the Internet, recursively, the prism overseeing my dive until my retinas burn out," wrote @davidboni.

Meanwhile, @mat_johnson takes the cake with a ridiculous tweet that must be read to be believed.

"People would know what it's like to be stared at just because I choose to be naked and covered in blood," he wrote.

I don't know who's going to win Google's contest, but I sure as hell hope it ain't that guy.

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