Five Reasons Steve Jobs Would Hate Apple Today

Steve Jobs was a visionary in many ways — often belligerent and hard-headed, but a fierce perfectionist in his craft. Apple still dominates the mobile market, but there are a few things we believe Jobs would defniitely not have allowed to happen.

1. iPhone mini.

Users don't know what they want, so when users demanded a smaller, cheaper iPhone (an iPhone mini, if you will) to appeal to a larger market in China, we imagine Jobs would do whatever the opposite of making the iPhone mini is. With each iteration of the iPod into a smaller form (nano, shuffle), it always brought some sort of innovation or feature not available on the iPod proper.

Even the iPad mini, more in line with Jobs's philosophy, innovated enough to bring a GF2 touch module screen, making the device much lighter than the original iPad.

Get with the program, iPhone mini.

2. Samsung.

Jobs had it in for Samsung, and he would appreciate the efforts his company is making today in taking the Korean tech giant to task in over 50 legal cases in ten countries. Tim Cook reportedly wanted to keep the company's relationship to Samsung amicable, but Jobs decided to declare "thermo-nuclear" war instead, reports Reuters.

The bad news: Samsung is alive and well, not to mention it's overtaken Apple in overall market share of "smart" devices, claiming 21 percent over Apple's 18 percent — in large part due to the Galaxy S3's popularity, which has sold 30 million units since launch.

Also worth noting: Samsung still supplies components for iDevices — some $8 billion worth in 2012. If you thought "Mean Girls" was about frenemies, you haven't seen Samsung and Apple go at each others' throats.

3. iWatch.

Apple has always found its niche in carving out new markets and dominating them, but recently it's been following trends instead. It's not that Steve Jobs was opposed to the idea of wearable computers — he's wanted an iCar and iWatch since long before the technology was viable. But he would have hated playing second fiddle to the Pebble, and eventually having to compete directly with (wait for it) Samsung's Altius smart watch.

(Samsung seems to be well on its way to becoming the biggest thorn in the side that Apple has ever seen. Four for you, Samsung.)

Google is also getting the drop on Apple with its self-driving car, making strides in a field that Apple has not yet even dipped its toe in.

4. Jailbreaking.

How in the world did Apple release two updates without patching Evasi0n's iOS 6.1 jailbreak? (Not that we're complaining.) It had larger problems to solve, but we can't imagine Jobs would have let it go on for nearly a month without sealing iOS 6's vulnerabilities. Not to mention how jailbreaking the iPhone allows users to access Cydia and download third-party apps for free — a move Jobs was opposed to in the first place and reportedly had to be convinced into allowing.

We imagine that given the incredible popularity of the Evasi0n hack, patching out the exploits used would have been high on Apple's priority list. Instead, it had to first resolve an issue with 4G connectivity in 6.1.1, then an excessive logging problem with Microsoft Exchange in 6.1.2. It's taken 6.1.3 (which is still in beta) to destroy Evasi0n's functionality.

5. Apple Maps.

Would Jobs have let the critically panned Apple Maps go to market in such an incomplete state? We can't imagine the man who reportedly asked a programmer what a program was supposed to do, and when told screamed back, "Then why the f**k doesn't it?" would have allowed his company to release the least functional application ever.

If Apple Maps hypothetically came out on his watch (we're under the assumption that it would have actually worked) and people criticized it, you can bet Jobs would not have apologized. It's not Apple Maps's problem, he would have said, standing sedately on a stage in front of hundreds of reporters in his trademark black turtleneck, blue jeans and sneakers, "the users simply don't understand yet."

And millions of Apple fanboys would have nodded and smiled.

Conclusion:

We don't know whether this general trend towards the mainstream (rather than the hipsterstream, which is a path Google seems to be taking with its Warby Parker consultations) is beneficial for Apple, but it seems to be doing fine. Maybe it won't be the innovative juggernaut it once was — maybe it wouldn't be even if Jobs were still at the helm. But we're still excited about every new iDevice that hits the market, so what does that say about us?

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